Strippers

Strippers and the Navy are so intertwined and enmeshed with one another, I am often surprised to find we don't have a dancing pole installed somewhere on the ship.


The connection is obvious, a bunch of testosterone laden hyper-masculine guys who talk about tits and ass more than they spend time out at sea (which is usually 180-230 days a year) want to see tits and ass. So, they are often found at strip clubs buying lap dances and looking at tits and ass.


At this point, the connection grows deeper. Through some magic, military guys, especially enlisted folk, are able to strike up relationships with strippers. They are able to crack through the glittery g-string facade of these women, and start relationships.


Amazing, I know.


Now, obviously most strippers are emotionally unstable, which is not a crack at strippers, but a fact. Add to this, most young enlisted service members can be emotionally and mentally immature. Mix it at all together, and you get a hilariously unstable cocktail, which can create some of the most off the wall hilarious stories.


So, I will relay a particularly juicy stripper Sailor story:


There was, once, this Sailor, who would patron his local strip club so often that he was known their by name, and was given constant discounts for his faithful patronage. After a while, he eventually struck up a passionate relationship with a stripper named "Cinnamon." He was young and in love, and put a ring on it.


His friends warned him he was making a mistake, and his chain of command told him he should stop thinking with dick, since strippers are crazy, especially ones named Cinnamon. In spite of all this advice, he went and got married.


They were in nuptial bliss for only 4 weeks, since Seaman Timmy was leaving on deployment. Before, our Hero left on deployment, however, he gave his stripper wife "General Power of Attorney." This would allow Cinnamon to pay his bills, pay his taxes, write checks in his name, and some other minor things. Such as write the title of her husband's car over to her new boyfriend, and close out all her husband's bank accounts, while opening new lines of credit in his name, and then legally completing an uncontested divorce by signing for her husband.


So, as you can see, the stripper and Sailor mixture is hilariously destructive, and, unfortunately, doomed to repeat itself over and over again.


V/r,
Brian

Knee Jerk Reactions

Before I discuss this common phenomenon, I must set some ground rules. I have realized I will inevitably speak poorly of certain people on my ship. At the same time, however, I will definitely speak highly of others. I have decided, when I am being laudatory and extolling the virtues of my shipmates, I will use their name.  Oppositely, if I ever need to illustrate an example by coloring the character of someone in an unsavory hue, I will keep them nameless. Although, if you are my friend, you are fucked. I will use your name constantly, and tell everyone how terrible you are around every corner. So, deal.


Now, its not like I have been in the Navy forever or anything. I have been in barely two years, and am still a neophyte in many ways. I do, however, have a great understanding and appreciation of the infamous "Knee Jerk" reaction.


A possible example from the civilian world might be go as follows. Imagine there was a terrible car accident on a city street somewhere. A typical Navy "Knee Jerk" reaction would be to revoke everyone's licenses, stop funding all road maintenance and construction, shut down all gas stations, and stop production on all automobiles. This is a bit over-the-top, but, at its heart, captures the ludicrousness of it all.


An apt real life example of this happened not too long ago. In our Pilothouse (where we drive the ship), people were eating sunflower seeds. In the process, they were making a mess. In typical "Knee Jerk" response, ALL eating was banned in the Pilothouse. No, they did not ban sunflower seeds, or put more trashcans in the Pilothouse, or just tell people to be more careful, or something sensible like that. 

The reaction, at its core, is a well meaning and superficial solution. Ultimately, however, it is poorly thought out and short sighted, and, almost always, leads to more problems. So, why is it so common? And why do intelligent and reasonable people make such flawed decisions?


We are taught, as Officers, its always better to make a decision than to hesitate. Its drilled into us to show confidence and lead without hesitation. This may explain why we can make such bad decisions. It may, also, as a side note, explain why we train so often, since by training we learn from our mistakes and know the correct way to respond to situations.


Mostly, though, I think it stems from Officers and Senior personnel lacking the fortitude to look their superiors in the eyes and tell them how misguided their judgment is. The opposite side to the same coin, is that many Senior Officers are unwilling to accept criticism and change their stubborn minds.

Human beings are flawed creatures, who make mistakes. We always make better decisions by committee than we do alone. Its incumbent on us, then, to include others in the decision making process.


I hope, for myself, I never lose that ability to listen to my guys and readily accept their inputs. I know I am no different than my superiors. I am no more intelligent or level headed than they are. I am prone to the same flights of fancy and irrational thinking. I just listen a little better, for now.


"Knee Jerk" reactions are too common and complex a subject to explain in one post. I imagine I will revisit and re-analyze this subject more as this blog starts to shape up. Until then, thanks for reading.


V/r,
Brian

Introduction

Today may be an important day for some people around the world. For some they are celebrating a birth day, or maybe they got married, or maybe they got their first blowie. For me, I started my first blog.

I should have started one a while ago. I have tons of opinions and ideas, and love sharing them with people. Well, now I have my outlet.

I plan to use this blog as an avenue to let all my friends and family, who I can't speak to, while I am deployed, know what I am doing with my life. Additionally, it will give, all you readers out there, insight into life in the Navy, and give me an outlet for writing.

I, on the other hand, do not intend for this blog to be some sort of emotional roller coaster, where I wax poetic about my emotional quandaries. Nay, I will relate to you my work on board my ship, and my opinion about the day to day life of a Naval Officer. Ultimately, I hope my friends and family will better understand myself, my life, and my job. 

V/r,
Brian